We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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