I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
