whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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