My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
