She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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