You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
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