Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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