perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
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