I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
