so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
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