I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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