That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
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