We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize