I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
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