So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Randomize
