if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
wow bdsm is so cute
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
