She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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