Just mADE A PArabola og urine
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize
