So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
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he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
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There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
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