It's a beautiful day for a hangover
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
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