oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
