u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
