is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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