he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
i may or may not be watching the land before time
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
Randomize
