I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
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