No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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