my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Randomize
