How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
