I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Randomize
