Where did you get a picture of my penis
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Randomize
