the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
Randomize
