are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
farters have to be the big spoon...
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
