And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Randomize
