I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
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