it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
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