3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
