theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
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