Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
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plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
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