I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
