i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
It's no shave November. This is our time.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Randomize