false alarm. still invincible.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Randomize
