What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
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Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
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