just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
