I wish I could punch you in the face.
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
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