just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
