All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
Randomize
