It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize