take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
