Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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