sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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