I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
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