Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
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I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
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I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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