Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Randomize
