I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
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