sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Randomize
