I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
Randomize
