I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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