It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
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