do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
Randomize
