Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
Randomize
