I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
Randomize
