what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Randomize
