if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
